First Season End Theme

Mike and Pat IDs

The Simon Brothers IDs from the episode Mike and Pat.

Grand Illusion

The opening episode for the third season. They still haven't decided who is going to be the regular foil for Rick and AJ. They'll introduce a couple of homicide cops in this episode. One has some history with the brothers, but we'll never see him again.

Donald O'Conner stars as a magician who has part of his stolen by an upstart. He hires the Simon Brothers to find out how. Before they can find an answer someone murders the upstart!

Was it the magician? His lovely wife/stage partner? His loyal to the death prop maker?

Gigi and I won't tell. Not this time. We were surprised to see that Rick has been interested in magic since he was a kid. Never knew that. At 12 he used to fool AJ with tricks, but AJ claims it was only because he was 6 or 7. So Rick has five years on his brother?

Gigi found this episode often "silly." Though she was concerned during the final chase. "The bad guy is going to hit Rick!" Which he does moments later. "See, I told you!"

Room 3502

The one where Rick and A.J. become ghostbusters. Who ya gonna call?

A Michigan couple without reservations get the last room at the Inn: Room 3502. It seems a despondent woman once slit her wrists in the room and now "everyone" knows its haunted. Or so the maid tells the wife.

Husband takes shower and come back to find a less happy wife. They sleep and he wakes to find her missing!

And now a comedy interlude...

Mr. Gorman, a S&S neighbor I don't believe we've met before, is watching the Chargers game. The announcer is evidently watching a different game. He calls a "beauty of a kick" and says the receiver catches it on the "one." The video, which is three or four seconds behind, shows the player catching the punt on his own 45. Then Gorman's TV goes on the fritz. We hear Rick's voice coming out of the TV. We cut to Rick who is making a call on his ship to shore phone while sitting next to A.J.s phone. He tells the ship to shore operator to charge it to 619-555-8896. A.J.'s phone rings and Rick approves the charge. He then tells "Suzy" on the phone he had to do that since A.J. locked him out of long distance calls.

Gorman walks in just before A.J. and starts to yell at Rick for messing up his game. They turn the TV on as Rick suggests Gorman get cable, but of course the game is over after an unbelievable play.

End comic interlude and A.J. introduces Bob Carmichael as their new client. His wife has disappeared! To the hotel, Rick!

Evidently Jody's father died five weeks ago and she had a breakdown. They meet the maid who talked to Jody. She tells them she told Jody the room was haunted. The story about Rosalind Martin slitting her wrists.

Bob is worried about getting his wife back, "She's so innocent."

We cut to Jody buying a gun, "This ought to do the job." Notice how well those scenes fit together? Luckily, California had liberal gun laws in the 1980s. Jody is told she has to wait 15 days to pick up the gun.

Unluckily, there just happens to be a guy outside the pawn shop willing to give her the name of a dealer for a mere $20.

Comic interlude II: Rick and A.J. go to Room 3502 and are arguing over nothing in a few short minutes. Rick thinks Jody discovered someone's "stash" and smoked, swallowed or snorted it.

Comic Interlude III: Jody buys a gun from an ice cream salesman. An ice crème salesman with knowledge of the Norse and a slightly acidic wit.

Comic Interlude IV: Rick and A.J. go to the house of the last person who stayed in Room 3502. They tiptoe around the subject until....

A.J. Is it possible that you might of, well, that you might have left, uh , well, some medicine?
Mrs. Mitchell: You mean "stash"?
A.J.: yes, ma'am
Mrs. Mitchell: I certainly don't need anything artificial to enhance my life. But if I did, I sure wouldn't leave it in some hotel room.
Rick: I told you it was a dumb question.
Mrs. Mitchell: That room was a totally different kind of trip.

Comedy Interlude V: We cut to Jody wandering the streets looking for Rafelson Chemical Building. She meets Wayne Ulmers - a smarmy jerk. He looks her up and down and calls her sugar. The man is on the make. "come on. I don't bite. Not right off anyway." Ick. He offers her a ride and is very interested until she mentions her name is Rosalind Martin. He says he bets all her friends call her Rosie. She answers, "I don't know."

Warning Number 1 for Mr. Ulmers. He continues though. He mentions her wedding ring and she replies her husband is dead. He's "really sorry to hear that." Right. Then Warning Number 2:

Wayne: Hey. You know who you look like? That TV actress with her own series. You know who I mean. Jody: No, the only TV I've been watching are the Watergate Hearings. Wayne: (confused) The Watergate Hearings? Jody: I think it's disgraceful the President of the United States should be involved in that way. I hope they impeach him. Don't you?

Wayne peels away in his Ford Pinto.

Comedy Interlude VI: The guys meet with Myron. Who has tracked Jody down to the Dunbar Hotel. Well, the fictional Hotel Dunbar in San Diego. But she's checked out. But we already knew that.. Myron mentions the phony name that Jody checked in under. "Martin, Rosalind Martin."

A.J. But that's the name of the woman who committed suicide!

The plot thickens! End of Interlude.

We cut to Jody walking through beautiful downtown San Diego. The sun shining. oops, it's raining again this episode. She has found the Rafelson Chemical Building! (Ooh, don't forget La Fonda Mexican Food. Nice bench. Advertising never affects me.)

She insists on waiting for Rafelson. This isn't the sweet distraught wife we saw earlier. She's a woman on a mission. So, obviously we must cut away to...

Comic Interlude VII: Rick puts the squeeze on Harry Fortune. Man, its cold an rainy in San Diego. And he's selling ice cream? Anyway, Rick almost puts the guys eye out with his cigar.

We cut to Gigi again upset that her hero is smoking. I'm explaining how bad it was for Rick to start and how hard it is for someone to stop. No, that was in my house. Back to the episode...

Rick gets the news they're an hour behind Jody. And off we go...

Back to Jody waiting in the office. The secretary takes her eyes away for a moment and Jody in the office. Tossing accusations. Claiming Rafelson killed her husband Frank Martin! She pulls the gun and shots fly. No one is hurt, but the window and desk take hits. (Well, unless you see the desk from Clive's view. No bullet marks yet.)

He wrestles with Jody. She gets hit. Security arrives. And. She gets away.

But Clive is worried. This could mess up the whole Passo Verde deal! He must find this woman! And kill her!

Cut to Jody walking pass the Grant Garage. With her hood over her face A.J. recognizes her while he's traveling 35 miles an hour. In his car. In the rain. No wonder he is so good at finding missing persons. Maybe it's the obvious microphone pack she has on under her raincoat?

AJ jumps out and calls to her. Jody now remembers she is married to Bob and her name is Carmichael.

AJ is followed as he helps Jody into his car. It's the bad guy's hired hand.

We cut to the hospital. Jody is in bed with our heroes and her husband hanging by. There has been at least 5 minutes without a comic interlude. Jody doesn't remember anything between the hotel and arriving in the hospital.

Bob pays the guys and tells them he plans to go home as soon as Jody can. As the brothers walk away A.J. notices an orderly walk by wearing $500 a pair Grassi Loafers. We forget how well paid orderlies were in the 80s.

No, evidently orderlies couldn't wear such expensive shoes, but A.J. knows hit men do. So they call out. The hitman reaches into the hospital hamper and starts shooting.

Gigi hasn't seen such an amazing thing since the ventriloquists dummy with the built-in gun. She is amazed the gunman can aim so well with his hand and gun in a large hamper. Frankly, so am I. The boys take chase.

Again someone on this episode gets a 20 foot head start and gets away.

But we get to have Comic Interlude VIII (I think): The guys call Myron to guard Jody. He's most interested in Rick calling Crazy Louie and laying a $20 bet to win on Bonecrusher in the third. Rick promises to call Bonecrusher and lay a $3 bet on the nose for Crazy Louie in the 20th race. They're like Abbott and Costello these two. They then negotiate with Myron to place Jody in his house. They must have her follow the rules, of which our favorite was "No flushing before nine."

Comic Interlude IX: Another discussion with Phoebe at the Hotel. She gives a few more details about the night the woman slit her wrists as told to her by her friend Lucy the Former Night Maid. It seems Mrs. Martin wanted Lucy to go to the Rafelson building and kill our Bad Guy.

I like the couple in the background. He in the bright blue coat and she in the bright red jeans. The stroll behind our heroes and then a minute later walk separately in front of them. I love watching for extras like that. Gigi, however, is easily bored when I stop, rewind, and ask if she saw that.

Rick and AJ break into Rafelsons office. They see bullet holes in the desk that weren't there when Jody shot up the place. They then find the smoking gun, er, documents, almost get caught by Rafelson. Talk their way out pretending to be drunk new janitors. He lets them go. Sees the missing Martin file and calls his henchman. Now he knows Rick and AJ are onto him!

That reminds me...If Rafelson owns the building why does he have a simple office in Room 510?

The McGuffin of the story is Passo Verde. It seems Martin found it was to be built on the site of an old chemical waste dump. Shades of Love Canal!

We segue to a nice scene of A.J. making a call on a pay phone. Can't find many of those around anymore. The guys then take a little stroll explaining the case to date for each other and the audience.

Rick: So when Jody shows up calling herself Rosalind Martin everyone gets very upset. A.J.: Upset enough to want to have her killed. Rick: And us too if we get in the way. (beat) What you say we get in the way?

They go to the house Frank and Rosalind Martin owned on Point Loma. Only to find Rosalind Martin. Not a ghost. She's alive!!! She attempted suicide, but didn't die. They talk. She gives them the name of Frank's old partner. Rick and A.J. don't know the henchman that shot at them is trailing close behind.

The guys play "men in sunglasses and grey suits" to get George Drayfus to talk. He tells them Martin would have made a copy of a map that proved the Passo Verde homes would be built on a waste dump. Drayfus doesn't it. Mrs. Martin doesn't think there is a map in her house, but....

Rosalind: It's funny. The day before Frank's accident he told me, 'Ros, if anything ever happens don't sell the boat. Keep it and go fishing.' (beat) It was very strange.
AJ: Why was that strange?
Rosalind: We weren't fishermen.

Our guys know the map is hidden on the boat and has something to do with fishing. They go to the boat and find a pole with a small map hidden in the reel.

Rick: Oh, yeah. The old map in the fishing reel bit! AJ: He had to make a copy. He could made a small copy.

As they find the map they also find Rafelson and his two henchmen have found them. There's a fight and AJ and Rick toss the bad guys in the water. Gigi summed up the scene: "Good job Rick!. The bad guys have to swim."

And we end with the comedy finale starring Dr. Joyce Brothers. Yes, the good doctor meets Rick, A.J., Rosalind, Bob, and Jody in Room 3502 to explain that the colors of the walls is the explanation for the odd feelings everyone has when staying in the room. She believes Rosalind's suicide attempt was triggered by the wall colors and Jody's recent troubles left her open to suggestion when the maid told the story.

The guys aren't too sure...that is until they start arguing again. We freeze.

The question I have is why Rosalind was staying in a hotel in the same town where she owned a home.

The Secret of the Chrome Eagle Obits

A major plot point of "The Secret of the Chrome Eagle" revolves around an obituary found in the San Diego Herald. The antagonist, Eleanor Swayze, gets a recent edition of the paper while in prison in Louisiana. She reads the obit of her partner in crime Howard Chalfin. The director of Simon and Simon inserted a copy of the obit column of the paper. I made a copy of the image at left.

I'm an ex-newspaper editor. The indentation of the obit jumped out at me. It didn't match the other obits. I saw that every other obit had a date in late April 1971. The problem was the series was set in 1983. As the story progressed we find Howard had died "two weeks ago."

Obviously, some person on Simon and Simon was told to mock up an obituary column with Chalfin's name. I guess they could have made up all the names, but the 1971 dates made me wonder if they just inserted a name in a real column.

I didn't find the original column, but I know it was in a paper in the San Francisco area and that the majority of the obits were real. The exact names and dates are easily found in the California Death Records. I also found a mention of Mr. Twomey here.

I'm posting this in case any family members look for information about their ancestor. They might find it interesting to know their family members obit was nationally telecast 12 years after death.

BURNS, MARIAN P - 05/23/1904 to 04/28/1971 - SAN FRANCISCO, CA - 545-05-7825
STANBRIDGE, DONALD H - 12/23/1905 to 04/29/1971 - SAN MATEO, CA - 557-05-5000
TWOMEY MICHAEL P - 03/23/1914 to 04/27/1971 - SAN FRANCISCO, CA- 556-26-9405

Other death notices listed but not shown in full:

HODGSON, MARGARET A- 10/08/1884 to 04/27/1971- ALAMEDA, CA- 553-20-3641
LEES, BESSIE - 08/29/1889 to 04/27/197 - MARIN, CA- 534-05-1238
NAGANUMA, LEO R -07/23/1904 to 04/28/1971 - SAN FRANCISCO, CA - 556-03-0644
REY, MOSES B -08/26/1896 to 04/28/1971 - SAN FRANCISCO, CA - 559-64-8453
UNGER, ELENA S - 12/29/1879 to 04/24/1971 - SONOMA, CA - 550-30-7409

The Secret of the Chrome Eagle

The one where A.J.and Rick take a road trip in a classic car....with a secret treasure!

Let's just say any episode with Lovey Howell is a dream. Of course, she's called "Sophie Chaflin" in this episode, but we all recognize Thurston Howell wife.

Well, at least I did. Gigi was more happy to see the opening where Rick and A.J. are in a pool of water: "I think Rick wanted to swim. He loves to swim."

Back to our story. This episode starts without the brothers. We see a women's prison in Louisiana and Ellie Swayze kills a guard to escape.

Then we get to see Cecelia talk A.J. and Rick into delivering a car for a friend of hers. The afore mentioned Sophie. A.J. is happy to do it since it is a rare 1935 Cadillac Chrome Eagle (though it sure looks like a 1935 Cadillac Fleetwood (pictured) to me.)

Before they go Rick has a writer from a car magazine talk him into letting her document the trip for an article. She joins our heroes and off they go. But where? Danger is afoot since the writer is none other than Ellie Swayze - Guard Killer!

I must stop and mention this moment:the Brothers Simon sing The Beatles! Specifically When I'm Sixty-Four. The look Gerald McRaney is giving Jameson Parker occurs as McRaney realizes Parker has just looked at him and loudly sang the italized line "When I get older losing my hair many years from now..". McRaney stops singing, smiles, and then continues. Unfortunately for Shelley Smith she sings (poorly) alone -- "many a year from now."

At a rest stop A.J. is in the bathroom when Ellie makes a move to kiss (and kill) Rick. She's foiled by A.J.'s return. While Rick takes his turn Ellie makes a play for A.J. He turned her down flat. He smells a rat and begins to grill her about the magazine. She passes. Then he tricks her into falsely answering a car question. She's a fraud! The guys leave her on the road by town.

Meanwhile, back at the Howell Estate, excuse me Caflin Mansion, a cop from New Orleans comes snooping around. He knows about the car. He's the detective who investigated a theft in New Orleans three years ago...and one of the suspects was Mr. Chaflin. Sophie remembers him and tells him the car is gone.

Guess who finds Ellie hitchhiking? Right, none other than our cop Donegan. They join forces -- Donegan being a crooked cop and all.

At this point we pause while I explain to Gigi what "piece of cake" means. I will come to regret this.

During one of the incredibly rare rainy scenes the bad guys try to steal the car. Then they shoot at A.J. and Rick in an effort to wreck them. Then we discover the Simon brothers were carrying big guns in that golf bag. The good guys figure the bad guys don't want the car...they want something in the car.

The end up in Feltzer's Auto Repairs in Lompoc, California with Rick convincing A.J. and the recently arrived Sophie to take the car apart and find the treasure.

Of course, they don't find anything. The car sits in little pieces and someone finally figures out the gold must be hidden in the engine. Wait, haven't we mentioned two or three times a cylinder is missing? That's it! Yes, they find a treasure....

A map in the cylinder. Looking none the worse for wear after being in the hot engine for hours.

It's a map in Chinese. Luckily the "University of Lompoc" has a Chinese language expert. She tells them where the treasure is buried. She recognizes the map as one from a famous Chinese captain, Hop Soon Lee - the Chinese Marco Polo."

Meanwhile, Ellie and the cop investigate the garage and find the map missing. Ellie kills the cop (off camera). Our guys go find the treasure. Find out the Army Corps of Engineers discovered the treasure in 1935. It seems everyone who finds a copy of the map tries to get the gold off state property. It's smack dab in the middle of a water management drain.

Our heroes get soaked and put in jail. While there Ellie robs the map from the water management office. Upon hearing this A.J. deduces the map wasn't a copy, but the original and it was the treasure. They get out of jail and head for Sophie's buyer in San Francisco. Especially when they find out he is a paleographer. (You can look that up as an exercise.)

They go there, find Ellie and the map. Our heroes burst in guns drawn and save the day. The map is owned by a museum in Boston who will give a $50,000 reward. The guys give it all to Sophie. She promises the brothers 20% of the Chrome Eagle -- not knowing Billy Bob is in jail.

The coda humor is when they go to get the pieces of the Caddy. They're hoping someday they can find someone to put it back together. When they get there they find the Lompoc mechanic has already completed the job. The boys hug said mechanic ("Bobby" according to his name patch) and we freeze-frame.

Gigi's final words: "And the plan works for Rick and A.J.!"

Quotes:
AJ: "What we have here is a 1935 Cadillac Chrome Eagle, B12 engine, 370 horses, one shot lube system"

Eleanor really wants a ride. Rick tells her it will be a multi-day trip. She replies, "I'm sure we could work out some sort of sleeping arrangements."

Myron hears about Eleanor and sees the golf bag the guys are taking on the trip, "Broads? Golf clubs? A.J. is that the way I taught you to handle a case?"
A.J. "Uh, huh."

Sophie: (on tearing the car apart) : "Cut that sucker!"

Myron: "This is the wackiest story I've ever heard in my life."

AJ: "I am violently opposed to this whole cockeyed treasure hunt."
Rick: "Could have fooled me."

Eleanor: "I should have killed you both when I had the chance."
Rick: "Does this mean our lunch is off?"

Trivia:
One piece of trivia was so much fun to figure out I gave it its own page: The Secret of the Chrome Eagle Obits

The road mileage sign at the opening says the prison is on US 90 and is 85 miles from Lake Charles and 146 miles from Beaumont Texas. That puts it in Lafayette LA

The events in California start five days after Eleanor kills the guard and escapes

Eleanor's mug shot number: "93 4350"

The guys and Eleanor sing part of "When I'm Sixty-Four" by the Beatles. Eleanor doesn't get the lyrics correct.

The "Chrome Eagle" has a historical vehicle plate: 322

Donegan's car license: 1fea474

When taking the car apart Rick wears a jumpsuit with a patch on the back "Will Kill, Inc" An exterminator's suit.

Myron says he drove Sophie "122 miles" at "22 cents a mile." That puts Sophie's house around Malibu, CA

Rick's old Marine/chop shop buddy is "Billy Bob Bayshore."

Eleanor kills the prison guard and the ex-cop. That makes her one of the more violent female antagonists of the series.

This is Albert Salmi's only appearance on Simon and Simon. His life will end in 1990 as part of a murder/suicide with his wife.

What's in a Gnome?

The one where the guys go to the amusement park.

No credit or mention of Janet this episode.

This was a simple one. Someone is sabotaging a soon-to-be-opened amusement park. The park manager hires Rick and A.J. to find out who is responsible. The twist? The owner has sent in his own guys to flush out "The Phantom" -- Ex-Marines. Seems the owner is an Ex-Marine also. As is...Rick.

Stay tuned tonight as Simon and Simon remind us what a debacle the Viet Nam War was...

Gigi has lots of questions this time: The first: What's that? A bomb. What's a bomb?

The guys have their first meeting with the park manager (Denise Carroll) on a rollercoaster. (Gigi: I love that ride!) Obviously, Rick is not a rollercoaster fan.

Carroll: Are you ok? (as they ride up) Rick: Oh sure. I'm fine. I love mechanized death.

The saboteur's device stops the coaster just before the big drop. Rick is relieved.

Rick: We're going to need cover jobs.
Denise: Right. Listen how about you (Rick) in maintenance and you (A.J.) in theme work.
Rick: No, wait. I want theme work. I always have to do the maintenance stuff. I want to do theme work this time.
A.J. OK
Rick: What is that?

The cut is to a gnome dancing. Yes, a theme park sized gnome. Dancing. It's a class for amusement park characters. They're all gnome. Rick looks disgusted. He's in the back row, of course.

Teacher: What's in a gnome? Guffaws and chuckles and shiny belt buckles. He's friendly. He's happy. His toetap is tippy.

Rick is in his element in this class. He's the troublemaker and class clown. The teacher asks what is the most important thing about being a gnome. She calls on "Ricky." His reply? "Sex."

At this point I was happy Gigi didn't ask what "Sex" was.

The teacher is flustered and answers, "The most important thing about being a gnome is the psychologically of being a gnome." The class immediately writes that down. Rick is flabbergasted, "They're writing it down!" Later there is an even more disturbing scene with Rick and the teacher. It involves Rick dancing and the teacher pretending to be a five-year-old boy. Too scary to go further.

There is a scene that has nothing to do with the episode, but explores the personalities of the brothers:

A.J. sees Rick give a business card to a girl and questions why he'd risk blowing their covers.

Rick: That was one of my fake business cards: Artie Belson - Sporting Goods.
AJ: Tell me something Rick. On the rare occurrence that this pathetic little scam works and the girl actually calls and you actually go out what happens?
Rick: I thought Dad explained all that to you.
AJ: No. No. I mean are you Artie Belson Sporting Goods to her forever?
Rick: What's in a name? Besides, any girl that would fall for a routine like that thinks forever is the name of a perfume. I'm Artie Belson three-four hours tops.
AJ: Shabby, Rick, shabby
Rick: Yes it is and a lot cheaper than a $60 bottle of wine and the phony vintage photo collection you use.
AJ: Let's face it. Like what Dad always said, "It doesn't matter how you bait the hook just as long as you get them in the bucket."

Gigi didn't understand that exchange, but loved hearing Rick laugh.

Rick and AJ visit an old Marine buddy of Rick's who now keeps a Viet Name database. We hear a lot of Rick's feelings about A.J. not serving in the military, "Oh I forgot. You were a campus soldier."

And it looks as though someone wasn't a fan of the war...

Doyle: "Little history lesson. How to subdue a tiny Asian country in 15 years for five trillion dollars."
Rick: No thanks, I already took that course.

Gigi is upset to see Rick smoking. We discuss the evils of cigarettes.

Rick and AJ figure the saboteur is one of the gnomes. So Rick starts going through lockers and is caught...

Dwyer: Gnomes who go through other gnomes lockers get in a lot of trouble. Maybe even get hurt.

Rick plays it off as looking for a match. Dwyer lights his cigarette with a lighter with a map of Vietnam. Whoa! Maybe it's our guy! (Forget the fact they've seen his photo and Rick knows it is our guy.)

Rick wants to make a connection so as he leaves he says "Goodnight, Chesty, where ever you are." This isn't TV. Marines really do say that.

They bond. Rick mentions a Viet Nam Marine legend and Dwyer claims to be that legend. AJ interrupts and Dwyer shoots at the guys and escapes. Now we get some more "brother" time...

AJ: Rick the guy is a psycho!
Rick: Why? People are real trigger happy with that word when it comes to Vietnam vets. If I wasn't your brother you'd probably think I was psycho just cause I was over there.
AJ: No, I thought you were psycho before you went.

They find Dwyer's hideout and convince him they're on his side. So it's time for more anti-Vietnam sentiment...

Dwyer: Vietnam is just another old show they watched years ago. Eat your TV dinner and watch the kid next door face down in the mud. Pass the fish sticks and sleep like a log.
AJ: I didn't sleep too well during those years.
Rick: My brother was one of those campus commandos that fought the war from behind a protest sign.
AJ: We knew what was going on. We were concerned with larger issues than toga parties.
Rick: A.J. You want a real large issue? Breakfast and being alive to eat it. You guys were worried about whether you could carry 21 hours a semester. We were worried about whether we were going to make it through the next 24.
AJ: That is why I didn't sleep well at night.
Dwyer defends AJ: Hey, if people like him hadn't fought the way they did you might have come home in a bag. I'm just glad he didn't have to go.
Rick: yeah, me too.

Dwyer explains his motives. Greyson sent in a bombing run that killed a bunch of his fellow soldiers then and later through the chemicals that were dropped. He says, "I'm a dead man. Greyson killed me 12 years ago."

Gigi interrupted, "I have a good question. He should be lying down if he's killed." Here we discuss how people use language. How you can't take everything literally.

The guys join up with Dwyer and promise to help him get the word out about the damage Greyson did in the war. Somehow Greyson knows this when they come out and has his men shooting at all three of our heroes.

Lots of shooting, but no one gets hit. That's what I love about old shows.

There is finally a standoff when Dwyer captures Greyson. He has a knife to Greyson's throat and everyone pointing guys at him, AJ, and Rick. Greyson tells his men not to believe Dwyer because he's a Section Eight."

Rick: I don't know about you guys, but I'll take a Section Eight over an "Official Report" any day. Anybody who was over there knows about official reports don't they?

If that doesn't convince everyone Greyson was a jerk his own words do. He admits he knew 79 Marines were there, but they were expendable. His own guys walk off and everyone leaves him alone shouting to kill Dwyer.

We have our first "Two Months Later" and learn Greyson is under trial and Dwyer is dead. We see Rick in his dress blues at the funeral. He has a purple heart and quite a few other medals.

Quotes:

AJ: I was expecting, I don't know, tattoos and a pack of luckies rolled up in a t-shirt sleeve.

Rick: Just what America needs. More fun? More chains.

Rick: Col. Grayson? I think I saluted him somewhere.

Rick: There is no such thing as an ex-Marine.

AJ: What was your edge?
Rick: Never volunteering.

AJ: Do you do this for a living?
Doyle: No, I do it for the dead.

Doyle: We have seen some strange times haven't we my friends?
Rick: Yes we have.

Dwyer: Welcome to fire base Middle Earth.

Triva:

According to Rick's insignia he was a Master Sgt in the Marines. He also has the Rifle Expert Medal. Doyle was a Corporal.

The Geronimo Ride Operator is Bobby
The dancing gnome is Fritz.

The photocopied IDs are the ones from "Mike and Pat." We know A.J.s license starts M83 and his SSN ends in 6886. He is 5'11" and 165lbs.

The readout on Lawrence Greyson:

Birthdate: 3/10/21
SSN: 554-64-9524

03/16/40 Enlisted
03/29/61 Second Lt.
05/27/62 Lt.
02/02/63 Captain
06/19/64 Major

(When Doyle reads the list he adds a year each to the last two.)

The computer logon password is displayed! FJD022

The minister was played by Olan Soule. The man was all over television in the 50s, 60s and 70s. You'd recognize his voice if not his face. This and another S&S episode were two of his last three TV appearance.

The Gnome Teacher, Lori, was played by the daughter of June Lockhart. Anne Lockhart would play in three S&S episodes.

The List

The one where A.J. falls in love, ok where he falls in love with the woman in the Witness Protection program.

This episode is notiable for at least two reasons: Janet's in it and A.J. wears his blue bath robe. Well, Gigi and I think those are important facts.

It starts with a bartender telling "Mr Simon" that maybe he should call Mr. Simon's brother to help him home. The camera is tight on the bartender. It pulls back and instead of a drunk Rick we see a wasted A.J. The bartender wants to know if A.J. wants to talk. A.J. insists the bartender wouldn't understand. The bartender says "What's her name?"

We get that focus shift as we move back in time. The is the second time this season we've had flashbacks.

A woman appears at A.J.s door. She's in trouble. She is worried she'll be suspected of murder. Rick doesn't trust her and A.J. wants her. (It's very unusual when Rick doesn't make a play for one of A.J.s girls. That should warn A.J.)

The girl has had her pics taken for San Diego Scene magazine. The publisher, Hi Elton, has an annual "Ten Sexiest Women of San Diego" issue. He hires a sleezy photographer, Nick Fiesta, to take the pictures whether the gils wants them or not. Amanda, A.J.'s girl, didn't want hers. She tells her story, but explain why she didn't want to be in the magazine or why she won't go to the cops and tell the truth. Rick doesn't trust her.

The guys discuss the case while driving. A nice long scene. The camera mounted to the driver's left and lots of background rolling by.

They track down the sleezy photographer. He is taking pics of women mud wrestlers in his office.

Nick: "The cops have closed my shutter. Follow me? I can't talk. A guy in my line I need their cooperation, you know, to get through police lines so I can shoot car crashes and mangled bodies and so forth. Besides, Nick Fiesta has got integrety. OK girls, slip off the suits."

Enough said.

Janet is back and her office looks different. She won't figure in this case because she is a suspect. Well, as much as the Assistant Deptuty Attorney can be. It seems she was on the list of possibilities for The List.

Janet: "One of the pictures was mine. I only met Hi Elton one time at the annual First Admendment Dinner Dance. He grabbed my knee under the table."

Rick: "Oh, Oh. Freedom of Reach"

AJ: "That's a clear motive for murder."

Rick: "Janet, I hope you didn't do it. I would hate to think of you as a murderess/ But, you'd probably look georgeous in prison grey."

She throws them out and repeats Rick's line. Is that the last line we'll hear from Janet? (Foreshadowing)

Amanda, the girl, cleans up A.J.s place and finds a note: "Stormy Monday, T-Bone Walker, Liberty Records" It's a record A.J. wants to buy. She says she prefers the 78 on Bluebird. She suggests he go to "Jazzman on Third and B."

She likes the blues! Now A.J. is really in love. Note the lyrics to Stormy Monday Blues

Note the final stanza of the song:

"Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy on me
Lord have mercy, my heart's in misery
Crazy about my baby, yes, send her back to me"

Well, if that doesn't tell us what's going to happen nothing will. That sly Pillar.

Next Rick impersonates Mick Belker from Hill Street Blues. Sure, he and A.J. claim Rick is doing his character "Ernie Boyer from last year." But we recognize Mick right down to the toboggan and pissed-off attitude. The guys need a diversion so A.J. can take pics of the pics of the finalists for The List.

Rick: (as he tears off his shirt to reveal a wire) "I just came off a five million dollare heroin bust. I'm wired up like Radio City Music Hall and you want me to carry a marquee that says Hi! I'm Ernie Boyer. Narc!"

They make to Amanda's apartment. No pics. No labels in her clothig. No notes on the fride. Rick is suspecious. Worse, she owns a cat, "Cat people. can't trust them." A.J. isn't convinced.

Rick: "You are so busy listening to violins that you fail to see the fact that this whole thing is out of tune."

Rick: "Don't you get it? Nobody lives here!"

They investigate some of the women on the list. The newscater, Terry Aames, works from the worst set ever. The rich woman, Joan Kline, is played by Lynnette Mettey (often on M*A*S*H). She explains why she was on the list. Her family helped found San Diego.

Joan: "When you are nuevo riche there's nothing as sexy as old money." After Rick and A.J. leave they reveal themselves to have been blackmailed and probably the murderers.

Later Rick interrupts A.J. and Amanda kissing. Gigi's take? "They're kissing each other! Why?"

Alfred Kiline goes to Fiesta to get the film. As we see Nick the first thing we hear is "Now let's do it without the suits." Can you say running gag?

Rick and A.J. have a fight about Amanda. A.J. madder than a wet hen, holds out his fist and says "Rick. You are way out of line. Now, if you want to finish that thought I'll be glad to help you."

Note: Why does A.J. have a farmer's tan?

They find Nick has been killer. They decide to go look for the film. A.J. knows photographers somtimes keep film in the fridge.

Rick: "Did you know that if you leave a head of lettuce unwrapped in the refrigerator that it would disappear in two or three months. I'm going to put that in my bachelors cookbook."

They find and develop the pics. it seems society woman Klein is having an affair with the newswoman AAmes. Ouch. Bisexuality! What a crazy decade the 80s were.

Of course, Alfred catches the brothers. Alfred: "Gentlemen, I am not a killer. That's why I hired these two men."

Also of course, Rick and A.J. get away to chase Alfred. A car chase! Alfred crashes and dies. The only way to save Amanda is for her to go to the police.

A.J. talks to her about it. "I guess you know I'm falling in love with you." In less than 60 minutes? OK, in less than three days?

Gigi wants to know why she is crying.

For some reason the detective wants to talk to Rick and A.J. in their office. They are interrupted by Amanda's boss who is really her handler and, it's true, she is in the Witness Protection program (for testifying against some bad guys "back East.") A.J. wants to talk to her, but she has already been spirited away.

A.J. is upset. He wants to find her. Rick doesn't think it's a good idea. Not that A.J. couldn't do it: "If I wanted to find a missing person real quick you're the guy I'd come for. You may be the best there is."

At this point Gigi inexplixibily says "They're a team!"

Rick convinces A.J. the bad guys couldn't find her, but they could follow A.J. and kill her. "And the sooner you find her the sooner they're going to kill her. Sorry kid."

A.J. finds a letter in even more bare apartment: "I want you to know that I love you and I'll never forget our Stormy Monday."

We come back to the present -- a whole week later and A.J. is wasted at the bar. Rick helps him away, "It's all going to be OK in 100 years or so."

Design for Killing

The one with the models and murder.

Oh, the guys have it tough. This time they're protecting a line of models. Oops. No, it's a line of clothing. But, models are involved so our heroes are there. This one does have two murders and infidelity so it isn't all fun and games.

For a change Rick gets the girl. I wonder if there was some rider in their contracts that requires each "get lucky" a certain number of episodes?

Gigi liked that there was finally some action. Rick and Gil get in a fight and she cheered on her hero "Go Rick!" and "Silly Rick!"

This episode does feature four notable guests. This was the second of six S&S episodes for William Boyett. He was a familiar face to those watching TV in the 50s through the early 90s. Denny Miller was the Gorton's fisherman until 2005. Oh, and he was the first blond Tarzan. The model that flirts with Rick is played by Dani Minnick. A major model at the time for Virginia Slims and others Minnick is now an accomplisher writer/ director. And, last but, oh well, not least is Patricia Davis as Diana, the assistant to Celeste Dunn. Her name doesn't ring a bell? How about "Patti Davis Reagan?" Yeah, that Reagan. She was his daughter, but she showed everyone how liberal a Reagan could be. She'll appear in one later episode.

This episode didn't include any of the other regulars. Again Jeannie Wilson didn't even have screen credit. By this time we haven't seen Janet and Myron in weeks. It's obvious they've been written out of the show. Jerry was a bust -- seriously, how many episodes could they have needed the help of a coroner? The brothers needed regular help. It was going to have to be someone connected with the police. Their mom didn't have any connections with the DMV or the FBI.

For the first time we see a child and teacher from the "Terrible Twos" daycare.

Quotes:

Rick: "A murder case! It's about time we had something we could sink our teeth into."

Diana: "Neither one of you are really the Tom Selleck type though are you?"

Diana: (about Rick) I really didn't want the Country and Western look. Where did you get that hat? It's positively Neanderthal."

Tracy: "I want a doll. Brooke's got a doll. I want a Tracy Penn doll!"

A.J. (When Rick asks what Gilbert Dunn eats for breakfast) "Small foreign cars probably."

Rick (upset about the job) "We're detectives. We solve murders. We locate missing persons. We provide industrial security. We do not watch clothes!"

Rick (when woke up early) "Who rides for justice?"

A.J. (Talking to Gilbert) "Didn't you used to be a Mr. Universe or something? I'm talking a long time ago.

Paco (finding Rick and A.J. in a dumpster) "Somebody threw away two perfectly good white guys." (Yeah, two years later Better Off Dead had almost that same line.)

A.J. (On the way to Woolcott's house) "Please, God, don't let their be dogs."
Rick: "There are always dogs."

Rick (trying to get A.J. to leave before Nina shows up while explaining who is coming by) "An old buddy of mine from the Corps" (Nina appears) "Hi Buddy."

Trivia:

Tracy finds a package addressed to her mother at:

Vivian Penn c/o Celeste Dunn Designs 6749 Lake Vista San Diego, California 92110

There isn't a 6749 Lake Vista, but there is a 6749 Linda Vista

The Simon's office answering machine is a Ford model 333

It's Only a Game

The one where the guys take a road trip to Vegas.

The last of the Jerry the Coroner episodes. He gets the guys mixed up in a plot to sell an "ultra large scale integration" chip. Will it go to the "reds?!" The bad guys go after our heroes in the airport, bed, a casino, and Hoover Dam. To escape Rick, A.J. and Jerry hide out in a bordello. OK, Jerry does, but Rick and A.J. pick him up at the Appaloosa Ranch. Well, not really a ranch, just three mobile homes behind a big fence.

Gigi's favorite scene was the one with the ventriloquist and his dummy with a built in hidden machine gun Yeah, Jay Johnson was obviously the go-to guy when a ventriloquist was needed.

In the end A.J. rescues Rick from the bad guys and kisses the girl. We never see Jerry again. "Tough Guy" Logan Clarke will return though.

Look for Hollywood legend Peggy Ryan as the telephone operator Gina. She had retired to Las Vegas. What a crazy place to do that.

What has happened to Marlowe? We haven't seen Rick's dog lately. Or Myron and Janet.

Quotes:

A.J. "We need a small clerical favor."
Gina: "I don't any priests"

Gina; (on the Appaloosa Ranch) "The guests spend more time in the bunk house than out on the range"

Arnie: "The most dazzling effects from this show come from a different breed of solid state."

Johnny: "What do you want from plywood?. Richard Pryor?"

Trivia:

Jerry contact was "Fred Haller."

While testing the new tools the stereo is playing "In the Midnight Hour" is on the radio Rick is obviously singing something else

Jerry's room at the Sahara is 5136. The second room is 5138

Rick and A.J. grab name tags from a table: Rick's is Sister Mary Grace Cattalane He tells the man from West Virginia the Sister has a name tag for "George Hammon"

The 50 dollar bill Rick gives the operator : B11692583* series 1977 "Blumenthal"

Rick must be a Yankees fan. He suggests to the bad guys they remember when they were kids and would trade baseball cards. He tells them they're sitting on Whitey Ford and A.J. and Jerry are looking at Mickey Mantle.

The license for the old station wagon Jerry and Laura use: ikg914

Rick calls to head bad guy (who is never named during the episode) "Come on, 'Tough Guy'"