21 Thoughts Followed in a Broken Line*
* I'm jumping on the Sister-Brother Bandwagon.
1) I'm a lesbian....
2) ..trapped in the body of a man...
3) ...an old, decrepit man. How I got here, I haven't a clue, but I've become accustomed to my skin. It's a good thing. I'm not strong enough to be a woman.
4) I'll die too early. Not early enough for some. But way too damn early for me.
5) I do too know that.
6) I make liberals wonder if they are truly "centrists."
7) I don't believe in the death penalty, because juries can not be trusted. However, I believe "lifetime with no parole in solitary confinement with absolutely no communication" is not cruel and unusual for anyone who harms a child.
8) I removed Number 8.
9) I'm not as upbeat as I used to be. I'm whipping depression, but it is getting a few licks in.
10) I absolutely love my wife. There has been no greater positive influence in my life.
11) My mother made me the human I am.
12) I have three sisters. Years ago, after my mother died, I wrote one off. It pains the other two, but I see no need to bother with her again.
13) I just thought, "Man, you're depressing everyone. Say something funny."
14) Three ropes walk into a bar. They sit at a table and get no service. Finally, one hops to the bar and asks for three beers. The bartender motions to a sign that says, "No ropes served." He growls, "Get out you slimy rope!" in such a tone the rope unravels a bit and slinks out of the bar without a nod to his friends. The second sees, but doesn't hear, and goes to ask what happened. he gets similar treatment, with the added bonus of seeing the business end of a Zippo lighter. He rolls out; a bit singed. The third rope sees and hears all, but being a rope of character, pissed that the man could hold him down, decides he'll get that damn beer. So he rushes into the bathroom. A glance at the mirror, rope hands mussing his tuft, he twists himself into a pretzel and hops to the bar. He looks the bartender in the eye and calmly states, "One beer, barkeep. A draft. Dark and hearty." The bartender squints and inquires, "Are you a rope?" The rope smiles and answers, "No, sir, I'm a frayed knot."
15) My older daughter loved that joke as a child. She still laughs today. That is love.
16) If you believe there is a kinder, gentler, more giving child than my little one, you're mistaken, or haven't met her.
17) It amazes me that two such wonderful people carry my genetic code.
18) There is one true religion in this world. It is baseball.
19) I love the work of Milan Kundera, Ranier Maria Rilke, and Warren Zevon.
20) As I finished it, I threw L’Étranger across the room. Every time I pee, I am looking into the eyes of Camus.
21) Seriously, I have a photo of Albert Camus above my toilet.
